When you chose to homeschool, you knew you weren’t a teacher, so you trusted educational experts, and chose a curriculum to use at home.
The curriculum is for your child’s grade and is standards-based, so why doesn’t your child want to do some of the assignments?
Why has homeschooling turned into frustration, refusing to work, power struggles, and tears?
Is it because your child is lazy? Does your child lack motivation? Perseverance? Resilience? Grit?
If you’re thinking yes!, my child needs motivation and needs to learn that you have to get your work done whether or not you want to do it, I respectfully disagree.
Children’s negative behavior is their way of communicating something they don’t know how to clearly express in words. I promise you, your child wants to learn and do what you are asking — they just aren’t able to.
Why not? What does this have to do with the curriculum you chose, that many other families are using “successfully”?
When creating a packaged, “one size fits all” curriculum, the writers have to do two things:
- They can’t assume any prior knowledge. If the unit is about dinosaurs, the writers can’t assume that the child knows anything about dinosaurs. For a child that loves dinosaurs and has been learning about them for years, the level is too low and the child can’t feel any connection to the work attached to the unit. It seems boring, arbitrary, tedious, a waste of time.
- Most curricula is written in accordance with Common Core or another set of standards. This means that the curriculum is assuming the skill set of the child. Children who have mastered the skills set won’t be challenged or interested. Children who are developing at different paces may not be able to do everything that is being asked of them. This isn’t a question of motivation or trying harder – this is about the child’s development which has to be supported rather than rushed.
Teach to the Middle
Much like traditional school, the curriculum is designed to teach to the middle. Just like school, this doesn’t work well for children who are advanced, have uneven development, or have to feel that there is meaning and purpose in the work they are doing.
This is a fundamental reason why your child resists doing the work assigned.
What are you supposed to do about this? You’re not a teacher, right?
It’s all so frustrating because homeschooling would go so well if your child didn’t resist. Without resistance, your child would learn so much more and you’d get to spend your time answering questions, cheering them on, and celebrating their successes.
Don’t worry, with me as your coach, your child will feel so proud of themselves and confident in their ability to learn, and you will feel calmer and confident in your ability to give your child a top education.
So, if you’re tired of the power struggles and feeling like your child isn’t learning enough or enjoying their education as much as they could, it’s time to get some help.
As your coach, we work together to identify the specific underlying causes of your child’s resistance, understand how your child learns and what they need to support their development. I coach you through modifying the curriculum you’ve chosen or creating units of study from scratch so you can feel empowered to create your own learning experiences for your child that go beyond the limitations of the curriculum.
We create ways to fill in learning gaps and motivate your child to happily develop skills such as reading, writing, and math. In the process, you learn and develop the ability to teach your child for years to come.
Your homeschooling life can be full of wonderment and a love of learning, instead of frustration, anger, and tears.
You can spend your days supporting your child’s learning, instead of policing their progress.
Let me guide you to be the teacher your child needs so you and your family can enjoy homeschooling without tears!
Afsaneh has been an educator for over 20 years. She has taught students from preschool to graduate school and now homeschools her own child and coaches homeschooling families in how to teach their children based on individual learning styles, interests, needs, and connection so that the whole family can thrive. She is also the author of the picture books series Jamie is Jamie.